As difficult as it is, caregivers must find a way to balance their own needs with the needs of the person with cancer. Illustration by Antonio Rodriguez via Adobe Stock
When a loved one has cancer, the diagnosis can become all-consuming. For the main family caregiver, whether a spouse, parent, child, sibling or close friend, it can be all too easy to set one’s needs to the side to focus on the person with cancer.
National Family Caregivers Month, observed every November, is a good time to remember that caregivers’ needs matter, too.
“Caregivers often think they're being selfish if they take time for themselves, but it's really important that they do because they will be better prepared, less anxious and be a better caregiver if they can take good care of themselves,” said Katherine Sterba, Ph.D. She’s a researcher at MUSC Hollings Cancer Center who focuses on supportive care transitions for cancer survivors and their caregivers.
The basics are important: good sleep, exercise and a healthy diet.
There are often additional worries that come with a cancer diagnosis: financial strain, worries about the treatment outcome or the cancer returning and even concerns about the physical aspect of caregiving.
“Caregivers often hide their concerns from the loved one they're caring for because they want to shield them from additional worry, so it’s just another way that they're isolated,” she said.
She outlined some suggestions for caregivers:
Make time for your own hobbies or social pursuits. “Many of our caregivers are also caring for children or older parents, so they can really let go of the activities that used to be a part of who they are. Their valued activities are easy to give up because of time constraints but really can take away from their well-being.”
Seek help from family or friends. “We often recommend organizing caregiving across family members so that they can take a break.”
Join a support group. Hollings hosts some cancer-specific support groups, and many cancer advocacy organizations also offer support groups. Many of these groups welcome caregivers as well, and it can be helpful to talk with people facing similar challenges.
Look into FMLA. The Family and Medical Leave Act allows certain employees to take time off to care for a family member while protecting their jobs.
Learn stress reduction techniques. Use mediation, breathing exercises, relaxation exercises or even a quick walk. “You can take five minutes to take a walk around the block or sit and meditate for five minutes to relieve stress and center yourself as a caregiver.”
Speak to a mental health professional. Talking to a counselor can be a safe space to express the worries and concerns that caregivers might not want to share with their loved one.
Ask your loved one’s doctors and nurses about where to get cancer-specific information on caregiving. As more cancer care moves to an outpatient model, which is associated with better outcomes, family caregivers can find themselves in more of a nursing role, dispensing medications, changing dressings and providing nutritional support, and those unfamiliar expectations can be daunting.
